there is a life about to start
by sharkphobia
Summary: a complete redux of bramblestar's nine lives ceremony, featuring the cats that SHOULD have given him his nine lives.


**authors note; this is a complete redux of bramblestar's nine lives; like many, i wasn't...particularly fond of the ceremony _the ultimate guide_ gave us; i thought that there was many cats who should've been at the ceremony but weren't (hollyleaf namely...that was his daughter are ya kidding me)**

 **11k may seem like a _daunting_ amount of words but i hope it'll be worth it; enjoy!**

* * *

Jayfeather bumps his shoulder against his flank; he's never been tall enough to reach Brambleclaw's full height, and Brambleclaw can't help but purr at it.

"It might seem daunting," Jayfeather meows, gesturing to the starry scenery in front of them, a forest so lush and _beautiful_ that Brambleclaw can't help but gawk at it. "But it won't be that bad; this is easy compared to what we've just gone through."

Brambleclaw nods, gulping at the sight of StarClan's lush forest; it's only been a day since the great battle that claimed so, so many precious lives in ThunderClan - it was hard for Brambleclaw to muster up the will to come here, but Jayfeather insisted.

( _"ThunderClan needs a leader, regardless of our grief."_ )

It's almost terrifying and Brambleclaw feels unimpressive; his fur is hardly washed, and he still has a few nasty tears in his ear and some raw scarring.

There is not much of a waiting period - it feels like almost an instant later when he becomes aware of the presence of other cats, starry figures lining up one by one against the lush forest; it's almost as though StarClan is showing off their ranks, showing how powerful they still are.

(In the back of his mind, he wonders how there was ever a time when he believed differently about them - when he had begun listening to his father a little more, thinking that perhaps StarClan wasn't so powerful.)

"Your nine lives ceremony is going to start," Jayfeather tells him, bringing Brambleclaw out of his thoughts; he blinks, looking down at his kit as Jayfeather dips his head, blind blue-gray eyes searching for Brambleclaw's gaze. "I'll be over here; just take deep breaths, don't get overwhelmed, alright? You still have to impress."

And of course, there's the bite; Brambleclaw almost chuckles, never minding Jayfeather's sharp tongue - it's almost endearing sometimes.

"I will," Brambleclaw murmurs, following Jayfeather's instructions; a deep breath seems to help to pull him back to the reality of the situation.

He's going to be a _leader;_ he's going to lead ThunderClan, and he's nervous of course

(after all, how can _any_ cat follow up Firestar's leadership? who would _want_ to?)

but he reminds himself of Jayfeather's words, knowing that they are true - ThunderClan _needs_ a leader. After Firestar, and Sorreltail, and Ferncloud, and Mousefur, and-

-and _Hollyleaf._

There is a moment when his grief begins to overwhelm him for a moment; he steels his face, tries to think past it, but the image of his daughter's face is fresh in his mind - _don't_ _think of that_ , he reminds himself, repeating it in his head. He can't think of her last moments; he won't.

"As your medicine cat told you," The voice is so familiar Brambleclaw can almost place it - he racks his brain through the list of cats he's known throughout his lifetime, trying to pin a face to that young, boisterous voice. "The ceremony is going to start now; are you ready, baby brother?"

Brambleclaw's ears prick, and his eyes widen as he stares through the elegant fog covering StarClan's hunting grounds; a small black-and-white tomcat pads through, amber eyes glowing with pride as he looks Brambleclaw up and down.

"Although, you're not so much of a baby bird anymore; you _definitely_ do not take after Mother."

Brambleclaw almost gasps, and it takes _everything_ in him not to run forward - be professional, he reminds himself.

" _Swiftpaw?_ "

Swiftpaw grins. "The one and only."

Brambleclaw blinks a few times, his ears twitching insistently. "I- but- you-"

Swiftpaw sighs goodnaturedly, giving him that lopsided grin that Brambleclaw remembers from his kithood. "Yes, I did die, and now we're meeting in StarClan," he purrs, shaking his head. "You sure you're ready to be leader, or do we need to give you a circle of life lesson?"

Brambleclaw purrs, stretching his neck forward and touching noses with his older half-brother. " _Swiftpaw._ It's been so long, I just- I didn't expect to see you, I just….it's been _so long_."

Swiftpaw's smile is bittersweet, and he sighs. "Yeah," he murmurs, giving Brambleclaw's nose a playful nip. "It has, and- well it _shouldn't_ have been like this, but I've made my peace with it, you know? It happened, I'm here, and now I'm here to give you your first life."

Brambleclaw nods slowly, smiling at his older brother. "What an honor," he can't help but say, realizing how _amazing_ it must be to be able to give a cat a life - not every StarClan cat can do that, he reasons, and he knows it's something to be marveled at.

"Well, not to brag but- I _did_ give 'ole Firestar a life too back in the day," Swiftpaw meows, twitching his tail-tip. His face gets serious then, and he dips his head to Brambleclaw, looking up at him. "So- are you ready for it?"

Brambleclaw nods, realizing the seriousness of this all; it's wonderful to catch up with Swiftpaw, but he has to be serious about his nine lives - there's no time for chattering and joking when he's becoming leader.

"Okay," Swiftpaw tells him, taking a deep breath and standing straight, shoulders relaxed, and eyes locking onto Brambleclaw's. "With this life, I give you the life of acceptance; life is a hard, unrelenting force that sometimes batters and takes from you, leaving you raw - you cannot let it rule you. Learning to accept is one of the things that have stopped many cats in the past from achieving greatness."

Swiftpaw's nose touches Brambleclaw's, and suddenly-

 _he is a small kit curled against the belly of a golden molly; as he looks up, he recognizes her, feeling_ love _and_ joy _because this is Mother, this is the one who feeds him and loves him- then he is older, chasing after rabbits and mice with a larger tomcat, one with black stripes and a long, winding tail and he feels the accomplishment and joy of an apprentice, the feeling that he's_ done something _. There is a ginger-and-white molly and she looks beautiful, stunning in the sunlight of camp - she has two eyes though, with a face unmarred from the life of a warrior; he feels it then, something soft and caring in his chest as they pad side by side, eating prey together, chatting under the stars and joking around-_

 _Suddenly he feels_ betrayal _, anger, as he watches a fluffy white tomcat becoming warrior even though he's so much_ younger _and less experienced;_ this is it _, he think,_ I'll show her _. But that never comes - fear, so much fear, fear and pain as teeth larger than any he's seen in his life, and the most bloodcurdling howls and barks-_

 _and there is one name, one name as the teeth tear at him, as paws stomp on him, as pain shoots through his pelt and face, taking over everything else-_

 _brightpaw_

 _Brightpaw_

 _BRIGHTPAW-_

-and then it's over; Swiftpaw pulls away and Brambleclaw realizes how heavily he's breathing, his sides heaving and his paws moist from the sweat that's built up from how _intense_ everything just was.

"Swiftpaw," Brambleclaw murmurs, shutting his eyes and flattening his ears to his head. " _Swiftpaw._ I-"

"Don't apologize," Swiftpaw's voice is serious, and he stares at Brambleclaw with a stony expression; there are no jokes between the brothers as they look at one another. "I already know how this will be, Bramble; you're going to apologize for your father, and just- it wasn't your fault. It was mine, and I needed to accept that I took a huge risk for a childish idea of mine."

Brambleclaw swallows, feeling so much _grief_ for his brother; he was so young, and he would've been an _amazing_ warrior.

"Okay," is all he can supply, nodding and blinking back wetness. "Okay."

Swiftpaw smiles softly at him, reaching up to give his cheek a comforting lick, before stepping back. "You'll be a good leader, Bramble; Ma and I are _so_ proud of you. You're not the little tuft of fur with huge paws anymore; you've grown into them. And I'm so proud we share blood - you and Tawnypelt make me the happiest almost-warrior in the Silverpelt."

Brambleclaw nods, so many emotions going through his mind; he looks to his side as Swiftpaw begins to pad off, seeing Jayfeather watching him curiously. He doesn't remember if he's told Jayfeather about Swiftpaw; he'll have to later, to remind him of the amazing cat he has for an uncle.

Another cat pads forward, taking Swiftpaw's place; Brambleclaw's heart leaps with joy when he sees the kind, freckled face looking up at him, green eyes glowing with emotion.

"Ferncloud!" Brambleclaw can't help but call out, purring and giving his friend from kithood a lick on the ear - her death was just a day prior, and he felt so much grief upon learning she'd died - it was the death of a warrior, and he's honored to be in the presence of such a noble cat.

"Brambleclaw!" she parrots back, purring at him and returning the lick to his nose. "My old friend, my Clanmate - how are you? You holding up okay?" Her voice becomes a little more serious, and her eyes are concerned as she looks him up and down, affectionately licking a raw scratch on his shoulder; a motherly trait of hers.

" _Ferncloud_ ," he chastises gently, purring at her. "I'm fin- well, I….I miss you. We all do."

Ferncloud blinks, staring down at her paws. "I know," she confesses gently, ears flattening for a moment. "I know, I- I left behind more than most cats do. My adult kits are all down there; my little Birchy, my brave Spider, and my happy little Fox and Ice- they're all down there still, with Dustpelt. I can't….I can't begin to explain how much I _miss_ them."

Brambleclaw swallows, understanding her grief; he gives her forehead a touch with his nose, nodding. "I know. We all- we're going to take care of them, I promise. _I'll_ take care of them- we'll make sure all of them get back on their paws, okay?"

She nods, smiling at him softly. "I know you will," she tells him seriously, sighing and bringing her tiny forepaws together. "You've always been a kind cat at heart; so gentle, so soft in the face - you have such a glow about you, you know, something that's always made me feel welcomed and safe alongside you. I never saw a hardened or rugged cat honestly; you've always been a softie to me."

He flushes profusely at her compliments; Ferncloud is an affectionate molly, one who's always been able to give out the sweetest and most gentle compliments - and he's a modest tom who can't help but blush at her words.

"Thank you," he mumbles despite himself, wishing he could wash his chest in embarrassment; she's just so _nice._

"Alright, enough embarrassing Brambleclaw time," she purrs joyfully, taking in a deep breath and looking at him. "I know I sound like a mother, but- this might be intense, so please prepare yourself, okay?"

He nods, the feelings from Swiftpaw's first life still dragging on his pelt; the idea of eight more of these lives terrifies him almost, but he has to do it-

( _"We need a leader._ ")

"Okay."

She nods, stepping back and giving him the same, serious expression as Swiftpaw had. "With this life, I give you the life of sacrifice; this is a trait that does not come easily to some, but one that is required for a leader. Your life comes second to the life of your Clanmates and the cats under your protection; you must sacrifice yourself for them, and put your fear behind in order to protect them."

Ferncloud touches her nose to his, and Brambleclaw closes his eyes, waiting for-

 _she's young and curled up against a cat with the same pelt as hers, freckled and a soft shade of gray- there is a large molly behind them, licking them over the ears and drawing them close, whispering softly to them, and then she is gone; there is a hollow feeling in her chest as the molly is no longer there, as she watches cats meet their own mothers while her and her brother curl together, trying to share warmth in the apprentices den, hurting because they_ lost her.

 _Suddenly there is new life; there are kittens curled at her belly and the litters change with the seasons - there is two tomkits, one black and one brown, and then a litter of thre- then one, only one left, she remembers with a hollow feeling in her chest, much stronger than before- and then there is another litter of two, one white and one with ginger tabby fur. They grow and they leave the den but she stays, she is here because it is_ home _\- and then-_

 _The worst pain flares in the back of her neck as she is dragged from the nursery, snarling and yowling that-_ there are KITS here i must protect them, they are not mine but i _will_ protect them- _and that is all she is thinking of as fangs sink into her throat, kits kits kits, and she sees spiderkit and shrewkit and larchkit and hollykit and birchkit and foxkit and icekit and toadkit and rosekit and lionkit and jaykit and hollykit and molekit and cherrykit and every single kitten that she had cared for, loved like her own throughout her life._

And when she pulls away, Brambleclaw gasps again, feeling the same exhaustion and rush that he did with Swiftpaw - _so_ many lives Ferncloud had affected and been apart of, she was such a warm and beautiful part of the Clan - there is simply no cat like her, he thinks.

She's irreplaceable in ThunderClan.

"You're so brave," is all he can think to say, blinking down at her. "You- you nursed my kits, you helped raise so many others, every cat in ThunderClan who's a part of the younger generations has you to thank. I don't know what we'll do without you."

"You have Daisy," she offers gently, giving him a bittersweet smile. "She's just as much of a mother as me - she'll need your help too, to pull through her grief. I know she misses me greatly, and I miss her too; she was my family too."

Brambleclaw nods, blinking sorrowfully at her. "I will," he promises, making a mental note to go and visit Daisy soon - she'll need the company.

"And-" Ferncloud smiles, taking in a deep breath as she looks up at him. "-and you take care of yourself too, okay? Remember to eat prey and look after yourself- Squirrelflight is your deputy so I know you're in good paws, but I- take care, okay? Don't make me chastise you in your dreams."

Brambleclaw can't help but laugh breathlessly; he gives her forehead a lick, smiling at her despite the buzzing throughout his pelt from the effort of the nine lives - she's just so _motherly,_ this one.

"Thanks mom," he purrs affectionately, sighing at her. "You take care too, okay? I know you have three kits up here who need you."

She smiles, nodding and giving him one last glance, full of a love and affection that she must have for him, as such a close friend throughout her life, before turning and padding away, sitting next to Swiftpaw.

He watches as she gives Swiftpaw a lick on the ear and leans against him, remembering that her and Swiftpaw had been friends in life - and then another cat begins to pad forward.

Brambleclaw blinks in shock, trying not to gawk or stare for too long at the cat approaching - he just….hadn't been expecting to see him here, is all.

Flametail pads forward, blue eyes bright with joy at seeing him; they're kin, with Flametail being Tawnypelt's son, and Brambleclaw feels another sad twinge in his chest, remembering that once again, another cat in his life had died far beyond his time.

"Flametail, I'm so happy to see you," Brambleclaw purrs, giving his nephew's shoulder an affectionate lick. "My little nephew - you're not so kitten-like, though, you've really grown since the last time I got a good look at you, buddy."

Flametail smiles, dipping his head respectfully. "Thank you, Uncle; being from different Clans gave us….an unusual relationship compared to most kin, but regardless - we were all always fond of you; Mom told me a lot about you, and her stories weren't inaccurate."

Brambleclaw smiles fondly, feeling pride swelling in his belly from Flametail's words - his dear littermate really spoke about him, huh? Tawnypelt really was a softie at heart, Brambleclaw thinks, unless-

"Good things, I hope?" He meows, frowning while thinking of the _dozens_ of embarrassing stories Tawnypelt could've told his niece and nephews. "Not...embarrassing ones?"

Flametail shrugs, making a _tsk_ sound. "Well…..I mean…..do you count the bee story as embarrassing?"

Brambleclaw's head hangs. " _She didn't._ "

"That was one of our favorites - hearing how our big ole Uncle stepped on a bee and pretended like his swollen paw wasn't that bad. Wasn't 'Bloatpaw' the name you thought Bluestar was going to give you?"

Brambleclaw shakes his head. "I'm going to have a serious talk with your mother. I swear on it."

Flametail laughs good naturedly, shaking his head and nodding. "I figured," he meows, only to sigh and become serious, just as the cats prior had done. "But this is a serious occasion; I'd love to talk more, but- you know how it is."

Brambleclaw nods at his nephew, admiring how grown up he really was. Only seasons ago, he was a bright-eyed apprentice bouncing at Littlecloud's side, all smiles and purrs. Now, sadly, he was a StarClan cat, one who was going to do such a high honor.

"With this life," Flametail begins in a steady voice. "I give you the life of intuition. As a leader, many options will come before you and perhaps will cloud your reasoning or judgement - you must rely on yourself to know which choice is the right one. You cannot let desire or want to sway you - you must keep a level head."

Brambleclaw knows that, much like the other lives, this echoes Flametail's experiences personally; Brambleclaw waits, letting Flametail touch his nose against his, and-

 _he is sitting in a small den that smells like herbs and is tidy and kept clean; a small tabby sits next to him, gently guiding him through what feels like an endless list of names and similar shaped leaves and_ how _will he remember all these, these are all so similar, but-_

 _But he_ wanted _this; there are memories of a tortoiseshell cat, amber eyes glinting with a sinister sort of glow and there is a slight fear there, but he prevails, pushing past it, excelling, making the small tabby next to him glow with pride-_

 _and then there is sadness in the Clan; a small pride as his father is chosen as deputy, but mostly sadness for this Clan is not the same - there is fear and anger and_ rage _at the other Clan, where his kin resides - but then there is a small shred of hope, something to cling to, when the ice forms over the lake, and his Clanmates for once look at him as an equal, not the freakishly smart apprentice of the medicine cat, and they_ play _, play on the thin ice despite knowing it is dangerous, and-_

 _-and the ice crumbles under his paws, cracking and he scrambles for purchase, for something to grab, but there is nothing,_ nothing _, and he sinks, further, and he sees_ him _, sees him,_ Jayfeather _, but then he is gone, swims up, and-_

"Oh," is all Brambleclaw can think to say, unsure of how to feel; he knows that Jayfeather tried saving Flametail, there was no way for him to hide his soaking fur when he returned to ThunderClan that day, but- Flametail, he must…

"I didn't show you that to cloud your judgement, or cast Jayfeather in a bad light," Flametail tells him softly, blinking. " _Intuition_ was the key - I should've known the ice would break, that playing on it like foolish foxes was a childish move - but I did it anyway, because ShadowClan was just so….dreary. I wanted something _fun_ to happen."

Brambleclaw nods, understanding what he means; it reminds him of Swiftpaw's life almost - a childish idea, done on impulse, but having _horrible_ consequences. Brambleclaw can think of moments in his own life where something similar almost happened; when he and the other apprentices took on the BloodClan deputy, or when he almost drowned on the journey, or when he fought kittypets-

-what's a life of a warrior without risks?

Flametail touches his nose to his one last time, smiling and giving his uncle a respectful dip of his head. "I promise, Uncle," he meows, whiskers twitching. "I have faith that you'll be an exceptional leader of your Clan - me and my siblings grew up knowing how smart our uncle was, I promise you that."

Suddenly, as Flametail looks away, Brambleclaw is reminded of Jayfeather's presence; the gray tabby is staring down at his paws, and Brambleclaw feels a pang in his chest, thinking of his son. He must feel guilty, especially knowing that Flametail is here, that Brambleclaw saw what happened.

"Can I….?" Flametail looks around him, looking at Ferncloud and Swiftpaw, to Brambleclaw, to the starry cats surrounding the clearing. "I want to. Jayfeather, I'm going to walk over."

Jayfeather's ears prick, and his blind eyes search the clearing, following the voice of the cat who he couldn't save, that _no one_ could have saved in that situation. Flametail gives Brambleclaw one last nod, before padding over, slowly walking up to Jayfeather and speaking in a low, hushed voice while Jayfeather listens, eyes round with shock.

Brambleclaw gives them privacy, turning away and trying not to eavesdrop, but he catches bits and pieces of it -

( _"I've made my peace; you did what you could."_

" _But I could've-"_

" _You couldn't have."_ )

No one says anything nor stops Flametail; perhaps this is needed.

Another cat begins to come forwards, and Brambleclaw holds his breath, feeling an overwhelming feeling of respect and surprise well through him at the sight of the tomcat.

Ravenpaw smiles, dipping his head at Brambleclaw; despite the fact that the tomcat is so much older, the same age as Firestar, he's much smaller than Brambleclaw - he blinks at him gently, green eyes glowing with warmth.

"I know you didn't expect to see me here," Ravenpaw meows, his voice so youthful despite his age; the last time Brambleclaw saw him, Ravenpaw was a skinny barn cat with kitten fur still lining his face, and a soft look to him - now he seems much more mature, more aged, even in death. "But I thought it'd be the highest honor I could ever do, to give you your fourth life; I practically insisted."

Brambleclaw blinks, his throat dry and not sure what to say - he really _didn't_ expect to see the tomcat here, he just….never thought of Ravenpaw _dying_. It seemed like such a foreign concept, even now.

"You can speak, you know," Ravenpaw purrs, giving him a smile. "I know I'm not as close with you as the others in your ceremony, but I'm just any old cat - less, in fact; I was only a Clan cat for a few seasons!"

"That's not true," Brambleclaw interjects, shaking his head. "That's not true at all - you're _more_ than that. You've always been a Clan cat to us; we all know about how strong and brave you were, about how you were courageous enough to accept the fact that you could live your life outside the Clans. It's….you're an honorable cat."

Ravenpaw blinks, clearly humbled by his speech; he smiles softly, chuckling and giving Brambleclaw a grateful blink.

"You really do have your mother's kindness; Firestar never exaggerated about that," Ravenpaw tells him, voice rumbling from his purrs. "And that's why I'm so honored to give you this life, for it's something I feel as though is important.

"With this life, I give you the life speaking out against injustice; speaking out against what is wrong, against what you don't condone; in life, I know you have let your feelings and family sway you - it's hard to reject your blood, but we all must stand up when we feel as though there is injustice, Brambleclaw. Keeping silent helps no one; we have to have the courage of a lion in order to speak out against what is wrong."

Ravenpaw touches his nose to Brambleclaw's, and there is no more time to think, for-

 _he's not excited about the upcoming day and does not feel the same joy as his littermate; there is fear instead, as a terrifyingly large tabby blinks down at him, touching noses, and then- more fear, more anxiety, and every day is the_ same _\- i'll never impress him, he hates me, he doesn't even_ want me _, he thinks i'm-_

 _-and all the fear comes to an ugly head as he watches a small tortoiseshell, almost apprentice-like in front of the massive tabby, being dragged to the floor, blood soaking the grass, and he_ knows _, he watched it, and the tabby watches him every day, sends him to the rocks infested with snakes, watches him and looks at him with that emotionless, evil look and he's going to-_

 _But he doesn't. He can't. He's gone, out of this Clan; he's in a barn now, and every night is warm rather than rainy and cold, and he is with someone safer, someone who does not look at him with anger and sinister hatred, and he watches from afar at the life he once knew, watching his old friends, learning about life from the safety of this barn, and this is the life that was meant for him; this is what he wanted, has always wanted._

"I walked a life more difficult than others; I knew from a young age that I was not suited for the life of a Clan cat, that I was meant for something else - a different existence. But it was unheard of to me; I never knew of a Clan cat who had just...left. Could you imagine? I honestly couldn't; my brother thought I had bees for brains for even _suggesting_ so.

"My life...it became different, when I saw Redtail's murder - I knew I had to do right by him. Even if I hardly knew him, even if he wasn't my kin, he was a Clanmate, and one whose death symbolized something terrible; you know the tale, I don't have to echo it. But when I spoke out, despite how much it terrified me...I was doing right by a Clanmate, by my _Clan._ I left for the life I knew I was meant for, but I never once regretted telling Firestar this secret; speaking out saved us, rather than being silenced and terrified."

Brambleclaw feels humbled by his speech; he dips his head in respect for the tom, realizing that he's come so far, that he's speaking so honestly with Brambleclaw - the cat who mirrors the tom that caused him so much pain throughout his young life - and that he's doing it because he _wants_ to, because he walked the stars for so long just to be here.

"Thank you," Brambleclaw meows, voice breathless. "I'm- I'm honored, I really am. Thank you for giving me a life, Ravenpaw; I appreciate it endlessly."

Ravenpaw bows his head, turning and padding to where Swiftpaw and Ferncloud sit, settling down next to them; both cats give him just as respectful of a nod as Brambleclaw did, and Brambleclaw feels a bit of pride in his chest, realizing how highly Ravenpaw must be regarded here.

Brambleclaw glances to where Jayfeather and Flametail are, and catches what must be the end of their conversation; Flametail dips his head, giving Jayfeather's forehead a soft lick, and murmurs something to him, before bounding over to where the other three cats sit.

"Well, I don't speak so elegantly, or have much of a speech prepared," a joking, soft voice says suddenly; Brambleclaw snaps his attention from the four StarClan cats and looks over to where a plump calico molly is, padding forward with a glow in her orange eyes. "But I'm hoping the nostalgia and best friend factor will be enough for you."

Brambleclaw feels the same warmth and joy he did as when Ferncloud padded forward - one of his dearest friends in life, someone he grew up with and cared for like kin - _Sorreltail_.

"You," Brambleclaw starts, voice wobbly and full of emotion. "should be down there with me, helping me lead this Clan, you fluffheaded _sweetheart_."

Sorreltail blinks at him, eyes glassy with sorrow as she looks up at him, nodding. "I know, hon, I should be," she meows softly, giving his cheek a lick. "But- I had to be there for my babies. I couldn't lose them, and- I just...maybe it was stupid, but I'd rather spend my last moments curled around my girls then in a medicine cat den, surrounded by herbs and away from them."

He nods, swallowing and letting out a sigh, shoulders and whiskers drooping. "I know, you're- you're brave. What you did, that's….it's honorable. I wish you didn't get hurt at all, but- you were there for _them_ , for your kittens."

She smiles bittersweetly at him, giving his nose a lick. "Thank you," she purrs, nodding at him. "I know it's hard - I didn't _want_ to leave you all, my precious babies and Brackenfur - they're all my heart and soul, but…."

"...you couldn't control it," he offers, sighing. "I know. It just - ThunderClan really misses you. _I_ miss you. You're still one of my best friends, you know that."

Sorreltail purrs. "Well I _should_ be!" she jokes, whiskers twitching insistently. "I followed you around camp for moons and was the first one to see past the 'I'm grumpy and big' exterior, so I better earn a spot there as one of your buddies."

He laughs, rubbing his muzzle against hers again. "You do, you've really earned your spot."

She nods, and then shrugs her shoulders, letting out a hefty sigh. "I know you've done four of these, but still- get ready, and don't get all emotional on me!"

He nods, pushing his forepaws together and bracing himself.

Touching her nose to his, she begins: "With this life, I give you the life perseverance - you know how horrible life can be. It takes, it's a drag, it's downright _evil_ sometimes - but no matter how much it takes from you, no matter how hard it gets, there will _always_ be a light at the end of the tunnel. Live for the small moments; live for your family, for your friends. Persevere, keep going, live for the happy moments."

 _From the moment it begins, she knows that there is something missing, that life has taken something from her - there is no father to greet her, no warm face, and she feels as though she remembers one, a deep voice and snowy fur, but he is gone before she can really remember a face; and then there is a tom, a dark and sinister one, who pushes a bundle of berries towards her, she eats them, to feel pain flaring through her throat, her face, her chest; and then the warm molly she has grown so used to pressing against on cold nights is gone as well, ripped from her life._

 _Her brothers, they're there, always seem to be - but as badgers tear through camp, and the_ pain and pain and pain _of bearing kits, four kittens curled at her belly, one brother is gone, his gray fur stained and caked in blood as his body lay in camp; her second brother leaves not much later, gone on a freak accident, dead and life must carry on, she must remember her family and teach them to her children, her three remaining kittens._

 _And then one of her kittens, one of her_ babies _, dies right there, right in front of her, screaming for pain and that her blood is one fire, screeching and yowling and she can't do a_ thing _, she can't help-_

 _But he is always there; the golden-brown tabby is always there, pressing against her, licking her ears, grooming her, talking to her in a sweet, rumbling voice as he lulls her to sleep; and she thinks of him, thinks of his kind amber eyes as she fights cats of all sizes, shreds through fur, and her belly is bleeding profusely but she thinks of him, her_ Brackenfur _as she curls around her kittens, licking them and slowly-_

Sorreltail pulls away finally; he never…. _realized_ how hard her life was - he knew her father had died in the battle of BloodClan, remembered when Willowpelt and Sootfur and Rainwhisker died, and-

"My life...my life was hard," Sorreltail says with an exhausted sigh, shaking her head. "It _sucked_ , frankly; my parents died before I became a warrior, my brothers died not long after I had my first litter, and two of my kittens died- it was...exhausting, frankly."

"But you had Brackenfur, and Leafpool and Squirrelflight," he murmurs softly, blinking at her. "You had us all." He realizes, watching her nod slowly.

"I did," she tells him gently, licking the top of his muzzle. "And that's what I wanted to show you hon; that no matter how hard it gets...we're all a family. A wacky, frustratingly angry family - our elders are our cranky grandparents, our warriors are our family members of all ages and quirks, and each kit is like our own. A Clan is a family at the end of the day."

He nods, amazed and charmed by her view on Clanlife; she was _such_ a sweet and wonderful cat, and his heart aches when he realizes how empty ThunderClan will feel without her.

"I'll make sure every cat knows about how brave you were," he tells her, voice serious. "How much you sacrificed, how much you gave - you really are the bravest of us all." He remembers Squirrelflight's words from before, realizing how _right_ she was.

Sorreltail purrs, clearly humbled; she smiles. "You betcha, babe!" she meows, eyes twinkling, before sheepishly flattening her ears. "Sorry, I know how much you hated the 'babe' nickname."

He blushes under his fur; she's always been the most affectionate cat, giving everyone nicknames like 'babe' and 'honey' - he remembers one afternoon when she had called Longtail 'babe' and the elder had stared after her for a long time, asking Brambleclaw if Sorreltail was alright or sick.

"I'm used to it," he amends, smiling at her. "After all, I remember you telling me that I'm _quite_ charming-"

"Okay, reunion over," she meows goodnaturedly, rolling her eyes and purring at him. "Your dorky pride reminds me of a lame dad."

He purrs at her, accepting her parting cheek lick and meowing after her: "Sorreltail, I'm too young to be your father." and laughing at her annoyed shudder.

"You are _quite_ the popular tomcat," another voice calls, and it's much softer, slower than Sorreltail's - it reminds him of running water, so soothing, and he doesn't have to guess who it is; the voice is engraved in his mind forever, as it should be. "I _never_ would have guessed it knowing you as long as I have, with how quiet you always are in groups!"

Brambleclaw smiles ear to ear when Feathertail pads forward, blue eyes warmly locking onto his and shiny, lengthy fur glowing in starlight.

"Hello dear, how are you?"

"It's been so long," he murmurs, aghast; he remembers her death like it was yesterday, having nightmares about it infrequently.

(It's one of the things he'll never get out of his head - her death, Hawkfrost's, Hollyleaf's….the list feels endless.)

"It has," she meows, sighing. "It really has - feels like just yesterday, I was an ugly duckling, trailing behind you and Stormpaw at Gatherings, always too shy to talk to Tawnypaw - you remember, right?"

He nods. "Well, except for the ugly duckling part - _you?_ Ugly?"

She shakes her head, sighing. "Oh, hush," She gives his nose a light nip. "I think me and you were much alike at that time - feeling too round for our fur, with paws too big for comfortable walking, you remember."

He sighs, purring at her. "I guess so," he tells her, flicking his tail-tip. "But still- you. I missed you a lot, I have for seasons since your death; it was…"

"...unfair, I know you feel that way," she finishes, nodding. "But I had a destiny; you cannot alter fate, Brambleclaw, which is something I'm going to show you, alright? Sorry to delve so fast into it, but I'm a busy molly; with a paw here and a paw in the Tribe of Endless Hunting, well- we're gonna get into it, okay?"

He feels somewhat daunted with knowing everything she's accomplished in her life - he's heard from Leafpool that Feathertail walks two skies, and he nods at her, blinking.

"Of course, of course!" he meows, bowing his head in respect.

She laughs a little at his humbleness, and stretches her neck forwards. "With this life, I give you the life of understanding fate and destiny, for not only yourself, but for others - in your life, you have seen many times in which fate gave a cat an unfair paw in life; while not fair, you cannot alter the path in which a cat must follow. A cat cannot deny themselves their calling for a long time; it causes pain and the path of fate may become crossed and confusing; we must follow it, Brambleclaw."

 _She knows fate far before she knows other things; her mother is not there, there are no silver tabbies that look like her anywhere else; she is one of a kind, and her father says so often. He does not stay with them for long, for this is not his calling - he returns to his birth Clan, the Clan across the river, and she and her brother must stay in their own Clan, for their destinies, their_ fates _call them somewhere else._

 _Her heart tells her these dreams are terrifying, that they may lead somewhere bad - but she follows the stars regardless, her paws carrying her down this path before she can stop herself, and her brother, her beloved twin, is always at her side, always there to help her - despite how_ mad _he is that she feels something for the little WindClan apprentice, he is there._

 _And she knows that her destiny and his destiny, the angry black tomcat with those dull blue eyes, are two different paths, that they will never meet - she_ tries _to alter it, she tries to change it, tries to take herself somewhere else, but-_

 _she cannot, and she is falling_

 _falling_

 _falling_

 _and it's all for them, for her friends, for her brother, for_ him _, and before she knows it her world is black, and she destroys the evil for them, because it is her destiny; it always was._

"My death was out of your control," the molly meows before Brambleclaw can open his eyes; he finally does, looking at the serious and somber silver tabby, watching as she gazes at him. "It was in the paws of none other than myself; should I have stayed alive, only for countless of tribe cats to die at the claws of Sharptooth? Should I have lived, only to have a half-Clan romance, to feel the burden countless of others - my own _parents_ \- have? Should I have died for a group of cats I didn't know? Should I have died and left Stormfur behind?

"These are questions most cats can never answer, but I could; I knew the path of fate as soon as I stepped onto that ledge and saw Sharptooth circling Crowpaw. And it is only my burden to bear; I have never blamed any cat that walked with me on that journey."

Brambleclaw feels speechless at the end, watching this molly wordless; she was the same age as him, almost to the day, but she was so much wiser than a cat three times her age. She sacrificed so much, and he feels humbled to have known her for as long as he did.

"Wow," is all he can think to say, breathless. "You…"

Feathertail smiles, bowing her head to him. "I'm your equal, dear, don't feel intimidated by us StarClan cats," she purrs, flicking her ear. "We're all fish from the same river - some are little minnows like your brother-" She looks at Swiftpaw, who sticks her tongue at her. "-or big salmon like Ravenpaw." Ravenpaw sits up a little taller, eyes a little round at her compliment. "But we're all warriors at heart, Brambleclaw, and we are equals here."

She bows to him again, purring and turning, moves gentle and flowing, much like the river that was her home for moons upon moons - and he watches as she sits alongside Flametail, affectionately bumping her shoulder against his.

Brambleclaw breathes in and out, trying to ready himself, despite all the emotions going through his mind; six down, three to go - his mind is in a whirl, but he's so humbled, _grateful_ to gain this experience.

"My baby," He recognizes the molly immediately, and she doesn't even have to reveal herself fully to him - he'd recognize his mother anywhere. "My baby. My little Bambi, my Brambleclaw. You've grown so much, my sweetheart, and I- oh, I'm as proud as any mama could dream to be at this moment!"

"Goldenflower," he rasps, voice full of emotion and love and the desire to bury his nose in her fur, to talk to her for hours and hours about everything that's happened, everything that's troubling his mind. "Mama."

"I'm here, I'm here," She crosses the space between them, resting her face into his shoulder fur; he lowers his head, pressing his muzzle into her side and breathing in her scent - it's the same as he's remembered, smelling of milk and roses. "Mama's here; I missed you, baby."

"I missed you too," he tells her, feeling like a tiny kitten again, scared of everything outside the nursery. "I missed you _so much_."

"I know," she tells him gently, licking the back of his ears, flattening down the spiked fur there. "I know you have; I've spent so much time in the Silverpelt, watching my two babies grow up and experience so much - and every moment, I've become more and more proud of you and Tawnypelt, watching you two accomplish so much in your lives."

He blinks, feeling her pull away from him to stand face to face; her face is so soft, brimming with kindness and emotion as she smiles at him, so gently, dimples lifting up her cheeks.

"You've always been my special Bambi," she tells him, using the nickname that her and Speckletail spent _hours_ thinking of. "And you make your mama so proud every day, know that."

He nods, unable to say anything else; he doesn't think there's anything else _to_ say, and she gives him a comforting lick on the muzzle.

"Are you ready?"

"Of course."

She leans forward. "With this life, I give you the love of a mother; you have been a father before, gracing three beautiful kits with your kindness and gentleness. I tried to raise you with love and affection; I never believed in tough love, and that is not the love you should show your kits or your Clan - the Clan is your family now, they are the ones you must protect and defend with love and pride. You have so much love in your heart, baby, I've always known it; you must use it to protect your Clan and your loved ones, with the fierce claws and gentle nurturing of a queen."

As she presses her muzzle to his, he can feel it then, although it is much softer, much more gentle and loving than the others began- _she is curled around a kitten, fur black-and-white, and everyday she watches as he experiences new things, coming back to the den with a butterfly or a lizard, just for her, to show her how much he loves her, how much he's growing; and she is proud, lovingly watching him as he gives her gifts._

 _And he grows, grows into an apprentice so full of life and wonder, and she feels the love grow and grow; even after the death of her beloved brother, her golden twin - a mighty lion, fur thick and eyes green - she takes the comfort of a large tomcat, who curls with her at night, and then- and then there are more kits, a litter of two._

 _The tomcat leaves, a disgrace to the Clan and to her; but the kittens stay, one tortoiseshell, another a tabby just like the tomcat, but she loves them so much, despite their similarities to their father, they are hers as well, and her kittens are beautiful and deserved to be protected._

 _The Clan stares and jars and speaks ill of them but never does she turn her back on them, for they are her kin, her kits, her babies, and they still are even as they grow, as they move on from the nursery._

"Every leader is a parent, Brambleclaw," she whispers, voice clear as she pulls away. "Even if they do not have kittens themselves, they are still a parent to their Clan - they must love the Clan as they love their kin. You must love ThunderClan as I love you and your brother and sister."

He nods, a ball of emotion and _love_ building in his throat. He swallows it down, smiling at his mother and giving her nose a lick, sighing happily as she presses his face into his neck fur, standing with him for just a few more moments, looking him up and down with heavy eyes.

"It's _so_ hard to imagine walking away from you," she tells him gently, sighing. "But- we'll meet again, baby - hopefully not for a _very_ long time, but," She smiles at him, reaching at her face with a paw to wipe at her eyes. "One day. I'm always here, if you need to see me."

He nods, trying to stand tall and be the big leader he has to be - but this is his _mother_ , his mother who means everything to him still, despite how much time has gone by.

"Now, put on a big boy face; you still have two more lives left!" She tells him, purring at him with a look of wonder on his face. "A _leader_ , my little Bramble!"

He looks at his paws sheepishly, and she just gives him another lick on the face, before turning and padding back to the other cats; she sits by Swiftpaw, giving her oldest a nuzzle, and Brambleclaw longingly stares after his mother and brother, at _every_ cat sitting there - they're all his family, his loved ones and he cherishes them endlessly.

It feels like moons go by before another cat begins to pad forward; the mist is an annoying cover, and Brambleclaw squints, trying to see the cat padding towards him - they're small, but not puny like Swiftpaw or Ravenpaw, just a little-

Suddenly, they pad into view, and Brambleclaw blinks, mouth going dry as he immediately bows his head towards his former mentor, leader, and lifelong friend.

"We're equals, there's no need to bow your head," Firestar meows gently, green eyes soft as they look at Brambleclaw. "But it's appreciated; how are you?"

Brambleclaw almost laughs, before remembering he's talking to _Firestar_ again; he misses the tomcat dearly, and he knows he'll _never_ be able to fill his pawsteps - he can't, no cat can but...especially not Brambleclaw. It's almost impossible.

"I'm uh," Brambleclaw starts, shifting paw to paw. "Well. You know. Just experiencing StarClan for the first time - how are you?"

Firestar smiles, eyes glittering with humor. "Dead, but pretty okay."

Brambleclaw frowns, feeling sadness rather than laughing at the remark - Firestar always tries to lighten things with humor, always has and always will, but still - he _misses_ him.

It doesn't stop both Swiftpaw and Sorreltail from cracking up though; the two of them shake with laughter, with Feathertail nipping Sorreltail's ear and Goldenflower giving Swiftpaw a stern glance.

"Well, at least some cats appreciate good humor," Firestar sighs, although he's not angry; he seems bittersweet, realizing that the reunion probably is much sadder for Brambleclaw.

"I…." Brambleclaw begins, trying to scramble to remember his speech from earlier - he knew he'd see Firestar here, and he'd planned a whole speech for him; something about trying his best, about wanting to do right, but it's gone now, the emotional toll of this night positively wiping his mind clean of any preparation. "I just...I can't replace you. It feels wrong to even be here right now."

Firestar's eyes are sad as he looks Brambleclaw up and down, frowning at him; he breathes in, ears dropping to either side.

"You're not going to be _me,_ Brambleclaw," he begins, and Brambleclaw's ears begin to draw back, feeling as though Firestar is scorning him - he already knows- "And you shouldn't _try_ to be; you're Brambleclaw, not Fireheart. I….personally, I don't know what the allure of me is, or why everyone wants to be the next Firestar, as some here call it," Firestar laughs a little at that, looking behind him at some of the gathered cats.

"But you're not me, and you'll never _be_ me, just as the leader who follows you won't be the next Bramblestar."

Brambleclaw nods, looking down at his paws; they feel too big for his body, and once again he feels like a small apprentice, with fluffy down fur and huge paws, sitting on a fence and watching the snow fall for the first time, with his mentor at his side.

"I don't think the Clan will want me," Brambleclaw finds himself murmuring. "I mean, after _everything_ \- I'm just...I'm worried that ThunderClan will be scared of me."

Firestar says nothing for a long time, and Brambleclaw's ears draw back, afraid he has insulted his former mentor and friend. But when he looks up slowly, afraid of what he'll see - he only sees Firestar looking to the side, sadness in his eyes and whiskers twitching, softly shaking.

"Firestar-"

Firestar turns to him without a word, looking at him seriously; his former leader is no longer jokes and kindness, but the serious, hardened leader that Brambleclaw came to know as seasons wore on.

"With this life," Firestar says suddenly, slowly stretching forward, nose touching Brambleclaw's. "I give you….the life of forgiveness. I give you the life to be able to realize that your pain cannot cloud your judgement of others; that sometimes a cat has done nothing, and earns your silent forgiveness; to forgive those who have done so much to do right by you. Not all cats deserve your forgiveness, no, especially if they don't seek it; but some have….have done absolutely nothing in the first place."

Brambleclaw is speechless, unsure of what Firestar _means_ , and without a word the memories and emotions come rushing forward-

 _as soon as his paws hit the grass, he fears the evil within the forest; the tomcat whose words hang over his head constantly, a voice saying constantly -_ i will find you and i will kill you, i will find you and i will kill you, i will find you- _and he_ fears _it, he fears for the next time they meet, and the fear follows him like a shadow, creeping behind him throughout his trips out of camp, as he mentors a young white tomcat, as he tries to move on, tries to protect his fragile leader who is losing herself day by day-_

 _and then a tomkit is born, a small tabby, but his eyes-_ his eyes _\- they are terrifyingly similar, the same golden, the same shade of brown in his fur, and although this tomkit looks at him with kindness, with love, there is something within him that is screaming_ can't trust you can't trust _and so he does not; he is afraid._

 _And every day is similar, and he accepts this tom as his apprentice, praying,_ hoping _that the fear will go away - and it does, little by little, but the tomcat knows, his apprentice knows every time his mentor jolts when he sees him, everytime he fights back with fear during a mock battle, he can feel it-_

 _And as the apprentice grows older, as the tomcat turns into a warrior who fills his big paws and sheds his down fur, the guilt comes in; he should have seen this moons ago, he should have_ known _his precious apprentice was special, was kind, was loving, and making him deputy - will that be enough of a sorry? Enough of a "i'm sorry, son"_ -

Brambleclaw is speechless, blinking as wetness begins to develop in his eyes, as sorrow and so many emotions begin to well through his chest; he stumbles almost, taking in deep breaths and sniffling.

"I forgive you," Brambleclaw says breathlessly, realizing that that's what Firestar was striving for, what he was trying to ask for. "I-I forgive you, I _never_ hated you. I forgive you."

Firestar blinks at him, sniffing and nodding rapidly, the older tom trying to gather himself despite the emotions running high between them with what just happened. "Thank you," he breathes, sighing and locking eyes with Brambleclaw. "I...sometimes, I feel like your self doubt is rooted in me; I know how wrong it was of me to do that, to look at you and take you on as an apprentice with my emotions; I wanted to apologize for so many seasons, but there was never a right time, it seemed like."

Brambleclaw nods, sniffing again. "I know, I know," he tells him seriously. "But I don't- I don't hate you for it, it hurt, but….knowing that for so long, you felt bad, that you tried to make it up to me - making me deputy, helping me with my kits, protecting my honor against other cats - you….you helped, a lot."

Firestar nods slowly at him; taking a deep breath, he just seems so much _younger_ , more fragile than he ever has in Brambleclaw's eyes - Brambleclaw has always seen him as the strong, confident leader with the aura of a lion standing atop the Highledge. He's never been any anything else in his eyes.

"You don't need to be _me_ , Brambleclaw," he says suddenly, voice low. "You don't need to be Firestar the Second; you need to be _Bramblestar_. You need to be the son of Goldenflower and Tigerstar; the brother of Tawnypelt, Swiftpaw, Mothwing, and Hawkfrost; Squirrelflight's mate; Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather's father; the leader of ThunderClan. You need to be _you_ ; to follow the voice in your head, not follow the path that I left. You're not me, and you never will be - just as I was never Bluestar, and as Mistystar is not Leopardstar, nor Onestar is not Tallstar - each leader is their _own._

"And no matter how hard it is - I will _always_ be there for you, to watch over you and make sure your choices are met with happiness; you're still my former apprentice, and I'm so sorry that I ever helped you feel like you needed to be in doubt of yourself."

Brambleclaw wants to nuzzle the other tom, wants to shower him with an assurance that he's well forgiven and loved; Firestar just smiles at him, sighing and looking him up and down again, muzzles meeting for another affectionate nuzzle.

"My deputy, my former apprentice, my friend, as close to a son as I have," Firestar murmurs, parting from Brambleclaw and taking a step back, looking him up and down. "Lead ThunderClan with love, with humor, with care; we are equals, Brambleclaw, and I am honored to have had a cat like you as my friend and at my side for so many seasons."

Brambleclaw stares at his mentor, and both cats bow their heads at each other, muzzles almost touching their paws; it's one of the greatest bows Brambleclaw has ever given another cat, and he smiles at Firestar as the tom parts.

Firestar turns, padding towards the other cats; he settles next to Ravenpaw comfortably, resting against the little black tomcat.

"I have _no_ idea how I can follow that; Grandpa really knows how to show a cat up."

Brambleclaw does not have to turn nor think much on who the next cat could possibly be, the last cat to give him a life - he knows in an instant, and he abandons the silent rule of not moving before the cat has come to you to run forward at his _daughter_ , his baby Holly.

"Hollyleaf," he meows, closing the space between them and nuzzling her face; she returns the gesture in a heartbeat, burying her face in his chest and nuzzling him, her purrs shaking her entire body. "My little Hollyleaf. My baby, my-"

"Papa," she meows, giving his face a lick and laughing at his crushing hold on her as he showers her with attention and nuzzles. " _Papa._ Brambleclaw, c'mon - I'm a warrior, not a kit anymore!"

He shakes his head, nuzzling her face again. "No, no you're always my little Hollyberry, don't even try that, you can't get away from your papa."

She laughs and accepts his nuzzles; Brambleclaw turns and sees Jayfeather staring in their direction, eyes wide and body still and he can see the _longing_ in his son's face, wanting to come over and see his lost sister but- soon, soon, just like with Flametail.

Hollyleaf finally breaks apart, looking at her paws. "Well, I...I'm sorry we met like this again; I really….I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he tells her, voice serious. "Don't be, it's that- it's Hawkfrost's fault, I'm so sorry baby, if I even _knew-_ "

"Stop," she tells him, voice gentle; she looks up at him, green eyes sad. "You avenged me already, saved Ivypool's life; you did what you had to do for me."

He shakes his head. "No, I….I should've _been there_. It's my fault this all happened in the first place."

She frowns at him, and they don't say anything for a moment; she merely blinks slowly, sighing. "Maybe it is, maybe it's not," she says with a soft voice. "Maybe I'm to blame for a lot of things, too; maybe if I had let the truth of my birth come out differently, maybe the Clans wouldn't have been so fragmented and we would've had more allies in the Clans; maybe if Tigerstar had died during exile rather than later on, Hawfrost wouldn't have been born; maybe if Ashfur never lost his mother, he wouldn't be what he is."

There is a moment of silence as he stares at his paws, hearing how _strong_ and wise she sounds; she's so young, still a little berry to him, but she's bloomed into a wise warrior, one he'd been honored to have in his Clan if fate had chosen a different path.

"You can't alter fate," he meows, repeating Feathertail's life; already, he feels the acceptance of the fact flowing through him, knowing that nothing could've changed his father's birth, nor Hawkfrost's, nor Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, or Jayfeather's, nor his own; fate was fate.

She nods. "You're right." She twitches her whiskers. "And I died protecting my friend, someone I cared about, while making sure that the Clans had a valuable warrior among their ranks - Ivypool's a gifted cat, don't let her go unnoticed!"

Brambleclaw nods, chuckling. "I know, I'll make sure of it."

Hollyleaf smiles, and then dips her head, leaning forward to press her nose against his; for a moment, neither of them speak and no memories come forward; all that there is is a father and daughter, reuniting once again.

And then finally: "With this life, I give you the life of clear judgement; judgement is one of the hardest things a leader will have to master, and one that is perhaps foreign to some - you must be decisive, and understand that judging a situation, knowing what is right and wrong; judging a cat, all of that takes time, and you must follow your instinct and your Clans best interests; you cannot let your heart get in the way of logic."

 _Her life is so simple for the most part; there are two parents; one tabby, one ginger, and two brothers; one golden, one gray; and a Clan full of life and possibilities -_ I want to be the medicine cat; no wait, warrior; _leader_ , wouldn't that be something? _\- and she knows that she will have a legacy, that she will create a life for herself, and she must, she must be strong and persevere, and she will-_

 _-and a loud BOOM of thunder echoes, and there is fire, so much fire, and a tomcat, eyes glazed with memories and pure hatred, as he screams and taunts the ginger molly - her_ mother _\- and suddenly, the image of her life shatters, crumbles and burns into the fire that night as she realizes her life is a_ lie _, she is a sin, she is_ nothing _, she has no legacy to go to, the warrior code means nothing more than_ dirt _at this point, broken by her own kin-_

 _and she makes a choice, and it feels right at this moment; she says it at a gathering, and she watches as her family turns on one another, as cats abandon each other and leave, as the cats around her grow more and more sinister and she realizes this judgement was wrong, this could've been different, she should've done this differently-_

 _-and then she makes another choice; she leaves, she is in darkness and solitude for moons, with nothing more than a ghost as a friend, and when sunlight hits her again, there is family and she makes another choice; she begins to grow close and stay, and she begins to have her family back, one by one, as her choice to come back saves them all again-_

 _And the last choice comes when she sees the little silver-and-white tabby crouching in fear, the dark tomcat that reminds her of papa glaring down at her and she makes the choice in an instant; there is no thinking, no hesitation; she trades her life for the mollies and knows that this judgment is finally, finally, the right one._

"I gave my life for Ivypool's," Hollyleaf tells him as she steps away, breaking the contact as the memories begin to crumble away. "And I'll never regret that choice, nor my choice to come back; I died that night loved and safe, among my _family_ \- you, and Mom, and Leafpool and my brothers, and- and _all_ of you, I died loved that night, protecting a Clanmate who I barely knew, but that I knew deserved to go on in my place."

Brambleclaw nods slowly, unsure of what to say; she's so wise, his daughter, spoken like a true leader, and he knows that if things had been differently - if fate had written her a different course - she would've been leader some day. He knows that.

"I….," he meows, staring down at her. "I'm _so_ proud to have called you my daughter; you and your brothers….I was wrong to have ever let my own hurt get in the way of the bond I had with you all, with Squirrelflight. I was a jerk, and I don't expect any of you to ever forgive me for any of that; I just...wish I had cherished the time I had with you all."

Hollyleaf twitches her whiskers at him affectionately. "You _were_ a foxface for that," she agrees, a voice between serious and joking. "You were hurt, yes, but I think Squirrelflight does deserve a few moons of apologies - that's coming from a wise StarClan cat, too, so you better get on that."

He nods, knowing that she's right; he doesn't expect Squirrelflight and him to be mates again, only if she wants to be - it'll be on her terms, he knows, and he knows he has so much to make up for and can never apologize enough for his mistakes.

"But you're still my old tom," she tells him gently, purring as she licks his cheek. "I never...Crowfeather never cared for me and my brothers - am I wrong, Jayfeather?"

Brambleclaw is suddenly aware of Jayfeather again; he looks over, watching as Jayfeather purrs, flicking a long ear.

"Nope, right as always."

"Exactly," she purrs, staring longingly at her littermate; Brambleclaw knows they'll need a moment afterwards. "And- well. You're always gonna be my papa."

"And you're always going to be my little berry," he tells her, licking her nose. "Always."

She smiles at him, and they give each other another affectionate nuzzle; she steps away and he bows his head to her, watching as she immediately pads to Jayfeather, purring and nuzzling her brother. For once, Jayfeather doesn't shy away from the contact; he purrs along with her, nuzzling her and murmuring something to her while she listens.

"Well," Firestar's voice snaps Brambleclaw back to the other StarClan cats; he watches as they pad forward, each taking a place alongside each other. "With nine lives, I think you need a name change, don't you?"

Brambleclaw sighs good naturedly at his mentor, nodding. "I think so - I hope it's something special."

Firestar taps his tail against his back leg, humming thoughtfully. "Hmmm. Maybe something like…..I dunno...Bramblestar? That sound okay?"

"Well-"

"Oh for goodness sakes," Jayfeather says suddenly, shaking his head. "You two are the most lame Clan leaders in the forest."

Ravenpaw shakes his head at them all, stepping forward to lead the chant: "Bramblestar!"

The other StarClan cats follow suit; all nine of them calling out his new name, letting the stars know of ThunderClan's new leader. It feels like the starry cats gathered around them follow suit, for they too begin chanting the new name, with Bramblestar's ears beginning to ring with the unanimous calling of his leader name.

 _Bramblestar_ , he thinks, bowing his head to them, giving each a separate thanks and receiving nuzzles of congratulations from former friends and family members. _That's who I am now, and I swear I'll do everything it takes to do right by ThunderClan._

* * *

 **lives:**

 **1\. swiftpaw - acceptance**

 **2\. ferncloud - sacrifice**

 **3\. flametail - intuition**

 **4\. ravenpaw - speaking out against injustice**

 **5\. sorreltail - perserverence**

 **6\. feathertail - accepting fate and destiny**

 **7\. goldenflower - the love of a mother**

 **8\. firestar - forgiveness**

 **9\. hollyleaf - clear judgement**


End file.
